We capture a mental fingerprint of some of our musical and cultural heroes and preserve it in cyber-amber for the wonderment of future generations. This is the Insomniac Questionnaire.
What was your favorite toy as a child, and when and why did you stop playing with it?
My penis, and I haven’t. 😉
What is the best advice you’ve ever received? Did you take it?
You can polish a turd, but you can’t roll it in glitter.
What part of your day do you look forward to most?
What’s the best time you’ve ever had without spending money?
What is your most treasured possession?
My handmade hairbrush, made in Italy and carved out of 100 percent illegal whalebone.
What is your favorite word?
Do you owe an apology to anyone?
When is the last time you were really scared?
This clown business is scaring me right now.
What is the last thing you googled?
The correct way to say the “whalebone” sentence a few questions up.
What’s the last sound you would want to hear before you die?
Do you have any recurring dreams or nightmares? If not, what’s the last dream you remember having?
Sadly, I don’t remember dreams.
How do you measure success?
With my success ruler on iOS 10.
If you could have one magical/superpower, what would you want, and why?
Flying—100 percent—so it shaves minutes off my commuting time.
Have you ever had a brush with the paranormal or supernatural?
What do you remember about your first kiss?
It was with my dad.
What four words best describe you?
“See you next Tuesday.”
What’s the last impulsive thing you did?
Didn’t have toast with my breakfast this morning.
Do you have a pet? Tell us a story about it/him/her. If not, what is your ideal pet, and what would you want it to do in an ideal world?
I have two Siamese cats. They go missing for days, and then you find them on the roof somewhere. They piss everywhere, and they are really noisy.
What is your strongest or best personality trait?
Do you believe in any conspiracy theories or urban legends?
I prefer to make up my own.