A Raver’s Guide to Orlando Theme Parks

EDC has its home base in Las Vegas—which is, of course, the largest adult playground in the US. It’s essentially a theme park full of booze, boobies and bright lights. But why should Vegas have all the fun?

Orlando is not Las Vegas; that’s for darn sure. But if you think theme parks are fun only for children, well, we’re sorry for you. Something terrible must have happened to kill your sense of fun and adventure.

It’s okay, though! We are here to guide you back to the childhood you lost, or perhaps the one you never left. We know all the ins and outs of Orlando’s myriad lands, worlds, universes and the like, and we know what about each appeals to the rave-child in you.

Glow With the Show
(Disney’s Magic Kingdom/Hollywood Studios)

Growing up in Florida, before “EDM” was a term people even used, my friend and I knew theme parks as the place to go if you wanted awesome, glowing, spinning rave toys. That said, Disney has kicked it up a notch in recent years. The most exciting development in rave technology has got to be the Glow With the Show Mickey Mouse ears. They sync to the ears around you and glow along with Disney’s spectacular light parades, such as Magic Kingdom’s Wishes Nighttime Spectacular or Hollywood Studios’ Fantasmic! Word on the street is these ears will work later when you leave the park, which seems to mean you can sync with your friends and Glow With the Show at EDC. Pretty tight, right?

Blue Man Group (Universal City Walk)

If you’ve never experienced a Blue Man Group performance, now is your chance. This is one of those times you can believe the hype. BMG brings audiences a totally rad, immersive audiovisual experience that’s honestly as cool as what a lot of DJs are packing—but the music is all performed live and in living (and sometimes splashing) color. BMG cofounder Chris Wink calls it “our attempt at creating a heightened experience of being alive.” The celebration goes down every night at Universal CityWalk, which you can enjoy without paying park admission. Plus, there are tons of restaurants, nightclubs, and other fun stuff in the area for you to check out before and after the show.

Tomorrowland (Disney’s Magic Kingdom)

No, it’s not that other music festival, but it is a futuristic wonderland of fantastical escapism. You can’t experience the terrifying nature of Alien anymore, because that’s now a Stitch show, but you can still feel the exhilarating rush of Space Mountain’s intergalactic madness. This is also where you can catch Star Wars’ Star Tours. You can also get down Sunday with the Incredibles during their Super Dance Party at 5 and 10pm. It’s pretty much one of the coolest parts of the whole Magic Kingdom.

Cirque du Soleil (Downtown Disney)

Just as Blue Man Group is one spectacular show everyone should experience at least once, so is Cirque du Soleil’s La Nouba, as featured under the big tent at Downtown Disney. Similar to Universal CityWalk, you don’t need to pay park admission to enjoy the Downtown area, which also includes Disney Quest, a multi-level virtual reality game arcade that you’ll also probably adore. Each Cirque du Soleil production is centered around its own theme, but La Nouba is the brand’s actual avant-garde circus presentation. Hey, EDC has clowns. Cirque du Soleil has clowns. Maybe you can get a little costume inspiration from the show? Trust us, we’ve seen it. La Nouba is a performance you won’t soon forget.

IllumiNations (Epcot)

Disney really knows how to go big before you go home, and it’s not just the Magic Kingdom that gets to have all the glowing fun. Epcot—which stands for Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow, for really interesting reasons you should google—ends each day with IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth, an immense firework display in celebration of the different cultures and countries represented by Epcot’s World Showcase. You can even enjoy the spectacle while dining on desserts and drinks in a fancy VIP section, if you’re about that life.

Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit (Universal Studios)

Roller coasters are inherently awesome; but wouldn’t they be a lot cooler if you thrashed along to Daft Punk? Well, it doesn’t have to be a pipe dream, because on the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit at Universal Studios, you totally can. This ride literally goes “Harder Better Faster Stronger.” In fact, you can choose from more than 20 songs in five different categories, including “club and electronica.” Besides Daft Punk, you can hit the 65-mph top speed while jamming to the Chemical Brothers, Kanye West, N.E.R.D., Gloria Gaynor, Donna Summer and more. Brace yourself for the initial 167-foot climb, and make sure you wear your best selfie face, because they don’t just take a picture—the entire ride is recorded. Here’s looking at you, kid.

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