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When I was about eight years old, there was a dressin’-up competition for Halloween at my local village hall for all the kids. My mum dressed me up as a mummy by basically wrapping me entirely in bog roll [i.e., toilet paper]. To be honest, I didn’t really care too much about the competition and saw it as an opportunity to run around like an idiot instead.

During this running around I had a little bit of a mishap. As it was winter, it was obviously very dark, and as I sprinted to get away from one of my friends, I fell straight down an open manhole! I ended up about six feet below ground level, covered in gunk and mud. When I climbed to the top after a good stint of crying and whining, I looked down. To my horror, the left leg of my costume was completely bright red. I had severely gashed it just below my left knee and needed 10 stitches. Proper Halloween vibes. Needless to say, I didn’t win the competition.

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