‘Band of MSFTS’: The Show Chronicling a Unique Group of Ravers

After “misfit” Shawn was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, what began as a way to preserve festival memories has taken on a greater significance. Here, in her own words, she tells us what the show means for her and her friends.

I’m a driven individual, and I certainly don’t take no for an answer. It’s 24/7, all-cylinders-go until I get there. I’ve had successful career changes that reflect the constant change in my life. As I moved on and outgrew something, I reached for something I couldn’t easily obtain. Then, I became my very own seek-and-destroy missile until I blazed past what I set my sights on. However, a bleak diagnosis of thyroid cancer in 2008 was definitely not a part of my plan.

I underwent round after round of surgical procedures to remove several tumors that had metastasized throughout my neck. I had 65 staples closing the wound across my throat and a slit from ear to ear. I’m proud of the scars I have. The recovery process was long, and every time there was a brief moment for me to get back on my feet, it was suddenly time for radiation. Despite so many surgeries over the years, and subsequent radiation treatments that have followed, my cancer has never been completely eradicated (as if it could be). They tell you that it’s the best cancer to have, that you can remain optimistic—but not if it metastasizes, not if you have what I have.

The Show

Band of MSFTS started off as just a home movie for us. I slapped something together from all the footage taken from our trip to EDC Las Vegas 2013 and music that we listen to on repeat, and I uploaded it. “You should do one every time we get together” turned into “Maybe I should do these just in case.” It’s something for us to look back on if something happens to me. I have a young son who I want to understand the value of loyalty and friendship, because it’s hard to find people that are down for you no matter what.

“Live Life” embodies everything I stand for—everything my friends and I stand for. Dance music in essence has united so many “misfits” in our society, given them a place to call home, a place they know they belong. It’s very important to me that people watch the show and realize that even though other news media would like to paint a picture of our culture being drug-addicted and reckless, there are people here chasing career goals and dreams that have nothing to do with the negative stereotypes we’re so misunderstood for.

After I posted the second episode, everyone kept asking for more. It was after we chronicled our second group trip to EDC Vegas that people started approaching me, suggesting turning into a television series. The episodes got longer; we added more dialogue as commenters started asking questions about each of us, wanting to know more about us, what remixes we used, where would we be next, and whether they could be a MSFT.

Having someone approach me and tell me that they have a friend or relative going through what I have, or they themselves feel inspired by watching me live my life and that it helps motivate them to stay positive—that means everything to me, to my family, to our cause. We’ve gained so much support that we now have sponsors wanting to supply our wardrobe, accessories, supplies and the gear we need to keep the show going. It’s important to us that we keep it in our dance music culture, to keep our show honest and keep its integrity intact. When people believe in you enough to invest in your vision, it’s truly the most humbling experience I think one can ever have.

Besides the show, my other passion is photography, and being diagnosed with cancer is the primary reason I wound up getting back into it. I lost a job the day I got my diagnosis, lost a business, lost another job for missing work when I got sick again, then ended up disabled. Then one day, a friend needed a favor and I needed the cash, so off I went to shoot Dirty South at Roseland Ballroom. Dance music was the one place I could take a very much-needed time out and forget about being sick for a few hours. I needed that then as much as I need it now to keep myself sane. From shooting photos for two years, I’ve noticed that the artists in our scene are just as grateful for the fans as the fans are for them. Humility is rare in the rest of the world, but not in ours.

The MSFTS

When I purchased a ticket to EDC Las Vegas 2013, I wound up gaining a life-changing experience along with a new family, now known as the MSFTS: Andrew, MJ, Lena, Khach and Leo.

I gained a brother after meeting Leo, who was previously deployed overseas; because of him, I have a huge extended family in the Air Force. My brother also came bearing additional gifts: His own mother and father have gone out of their way to practically adopt me, standing in for the mother and father that were absent in my own life. When I say adopted, I mean mom sends dinner overnight from Miami to Pennsylvania in a cooler, ready to eat. It’s actions like these that first gave me the idea to start filming every time we got together.

My little sister MJ came into my life after a Tiësto concert I was reluctantly dragged to for my birthday in 2011. She and I just clicked, and we had the sort of immediate connection that you have with people you’ve shared inside jokes with for decades. When MJ moved to Los Angeles, it was hard on all of us, especially me. I was happy for MJ but hated that she was going to be gone. Despite the distance, she and I haven’t gone more than a few hours without speaking to each other. I’m proud of her.

I recently interviewed her for our episodes, when she said that every time she gets a 4am phone call from back home, her first reaction is always fearing that she’s getting bad news. It’s surreal hearing that and being referred to in the third person while listening to the interviewee describe to someone else how they feel about my being sick. The MSFTS show came together partially through MJ’s encouragement (she also made the name). She wanted to make sure we had something to hold on to, just in case.

Andrew and Khach, we’re all together every weekend. When I leave to make the long drive home from Pennsylvania to D.C. to visit MJ, I know I’ll see them next weekend. Even though months pass without us meeting together, we all talk every day (most days, almost all day). We might see each other for only one night, because someone took a connecting flight to see us from across the world before returning home the next day. It makes the reunions bittersweet at times, but these rare occurrences all drive us to push on so we can pursue different career paths but always stay together no matter where any of us are.

I don’t think I’m really anything to be inspired by; I just want to show everyone that if something does happen to me, I had this amazing life—and it’s because of the people I am with right now, whom I wouldn’t have in my life if it weren’t for the music we listen to. That every time I got a setback and got knocked down, I just got up and ran at it harder, because I’m too stubborn and determined to let anything get in my way.

In 16 hours, I’m going to be under anesthesia, while two surgeons tackle the task of cleaning up any leftover lymph nodes that have turned cancerous, while another works to repair the damage in my neck by inserting what I consider “cyborg parts.” If it weren’t for my close-knit family circle of misfits, I don’t think I’d be as optimistic. And it’s because of electronic music that I have them in my life to get me through the hardships I can’t quite get through alone. You can be as tough and as strong as humanly possible, but in the end, we all need someone to be there and care about us. We can’t survive without it.

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